intimacy is the art of keeping one's heart authentically open.

intimacy is the art of keeping one's heart authentically open. intimacy within relationships allows us to deepen the intimacy within our self. intimacy within our self creates positive, soulful, and inventive relationships with the world.

our deepest learning, frightening realizations, and most authentic measurement of our evolution lives inside of romantic relationships. most of us have been patterned early in our lives to shut our hearts as tightly as possible. we suit up with an armor made of distrust. but the right relationship sheds light on inner truth and melts that armor.

we exist in a society where there is little devotion, patience, or acceptance. we don't slow down enough to enjoy what truly matters, and most of the time we need a life-altering tragedy before we choose to understand unconditional love. we tend to practice being different that who we truly are with those that we choose to love.

being in love challenges every bit of our self-worth, connection, and evolution - it forces us to keep our heart open. this is a positive thing. it is easy to run away from seeing yourself – your beauty and your shadow. an intimate relationship is brutally honest, but it is not always about trusting another – it is about trusting yourself. that is connection. you are always safe when you first trust your self.

we tend to choose partners, whether its romantic or close friendships or business, that reflect both our highest potential and deepest shadow. the trick is to consciously and consistently work to be our highest self in order to allow space for the best to rise in our partner. active patience through conscious communication allows a relationship to flourish and evolve. what allows us to communicate authentically is our personal healing and awareness.

a loving relationship can fall into deep chaos and drama at any moment – it needs to be consistently handled with the slow breath of mindfulness. when our negative issues show up through the behavior of another, it is important to embrace it. this will only take you closer to your own heart. it is equally important to embrace your partner as a positive mirror – it is through your partner that your own potential for greatness is revealed. as the intensity of the relationship increases so will the mirror and the depth of possible healing. this is when communicating from self-healing becomes essential.

one of the largest challenges in resolution is the dissolving of the ego – who is right and who is wrong. this mentality is the core of war and the shadow of power. this is a choice. i recommend to be in your grace and allow love to resolve instead of the facade of justice.

every moment you are riddled with guilt, shame, unworthiness, etc your partner will be affected. every time you are unaware of these issues, you give your partner the potential to mirror your shadow. it is amazing how the unawareness of your guilt for happiness or success can create a drama filled evening. and how your partner's self-hatred can teach you to be a negative mirror for him/her. we are all made up of high sensitivity levels of energy that create responses or reactions. responses create positive outcomes and reactions create drama. when we are unaware of what lives inside of us, we create reactions from others and our self and especially in our closely woven romantic relationships. those reactions never allow us to live a life without longing.

the complaints you have about your partner need to be taken into your responsibility first. ask yourself, "am i authentically able to receive what i need my partner to give me?" stand in integrity and give yourself enough quiet time to embrace your shadow. are there parts of you that need to be healed in order to create space to receive that which you need? my belief is that all relationships – even those that don’t serve you – offer healing and wisdom. even the most challenging of relationships can transform into one of unconditional love when both partners take real responsibility for themselves.

if your partner acts out in ways that triggers your shadow, choose to not engage. breathe and observe. look inward. allow patience to be your teacher. your buttons can only be pushed when the issue is alive inside of you. when you authentically let go, your buttons cannot be pushed because you eliminate reaction.

it is always easy to dissect our partner and tell them what they need to do different – to control them. it is more difficult to dissect our self, heal, and change our own behavior. we are not here to call others on there stuff. we are here to call our self on our stuff. as we deepen our awareness we organically create change in others without a single word, thought, or want. allowing miracles and surprises to come our way by shifting ourselves and doing it with no agenda. locate an authentic issue of yours and go to your partner and without ego take responsibility and commit to change. that is power. live amazing communication and experience a new layer of love.

the advanced class is when you welcome corrections from your partner. our partners do tend to hold poignant information about who we are, who we are not, and who we can be. if you are extra brave and breathe in your sense of self, ask. sit with patience, openness, and love. listen and ask for time to absorb and process to be clear that it is in fact a right correction. the warning here is some of us only listen to what others think of us and tell us to do. this is different. this is actively embracing shadow and integrating into vastness. if you feel it to be an authentic issue that is worthy of change for you and your partner, then go for it and experience the satisfaction that comes with being spirit.

it is at times painful to not be able to blame someone else for your circumstance even when it seems that they expertly orchestrated it from their own discontent. there are times when a relationship is over and only you will know when that time is. trust yourself and let go without resentment and with gratitude for the learning. there is no one that we cannot learn from but there are some who are not ready to authentically heal. all we can do is to continue to heal ourselves in the hope that our consistent evolving will allow them to heal one day.

as a whole, we are an armored, injured, fragile yet simultaneously strong and courageous globe. as a result, there is a great deal of individual healing required for more successful intimate relationships. in the end you will receive what you need. pay attention to the sweet signs of change and remember that change is courage for everyone. applaud and appreciate changes in yourself and your partner.

being in love is one of the most pleasurable experiences we deserve to have. the most accelerated way to do that is by deepening our self-love. embrace yourself first and watch your partner shift.

unconditional love doesn’t yield a relationship free from conflict – in fact, in time you will grow to see that conflict is an opportunity to deepen self-love. this may be incredibly challenging. however, it is simple and necessary. the process of learning and experiencing unconditional love through spiritual awareness is complicated and rare. we simply must create the space to allow love into our world by breathing and practicing mindfulness.

featured in findbliss.com

children are the bliss of the planet.

children teach, share, and love unconditionally. look into the eyes of a newborn and you will see the abyss of your consciousness. look into the eyes of a toddler and you will see the reflection of what serves you and what does not. experience a child and bathe in beauty. listening is communicating from your relationship with spirit.

even those of us who practice awareness can be greatly healed by our/the children. my son jacob, is my greatest and most challenging teacher. he consistently ushers me into my shadow and light allowing me to breakdown what serves me and what does not. he delivers clarity when i choose to embrace clarity.

in the past, i attempted to control his behavior. the actions, words, attitudes that may have inconvenienced me, embarrassed me, or those i thought may contribute negatively to the world. i thought i was right. in my efforts to further control it, i soon learned he would not allow it, he would not listen and acted out in a myriad of ways. i began to observe through trial and error and consciousness and experienced his behavior as a perfect reflection of my own deep seated issue. he reflected my neediness, anger, loneliness, loss, and fear just to name a few. he was already becoming a pattern of me. i had projected my conflicts onto him and he was showing them to me for me to efficiently heal them. it is amazing to see your fear in mid-air as you are delivering it to another. i was immediately forced by divine listening to see myself and change my behavior. he looked at me absolutely clear knowing that it was my choice to change or not and that he was going to go on with his day without guilt and with love for me. a moment of evolution, blessing, and innocence. i listened and healed and allowed him to stay connected to his trueness - his spirit. we both learned, grew, and deepened our self-love.

children are the catalyst for positive change. kind and clear mirrors. they are healers when we listen. it has never been an easy task to authentically look, embrace, and integrate our shadow. at times, beings with the purpose to inspire change can effortlessly send us into fits of rage - our own resistance. relax resistance, open your heart, and connect to love. it is a conscious choice to not project your conflict onto another and in this case a child. appreciate the mirror and choose listening.

it is at times easier to stay in resistance and simply be unthoughtful. the world cannot afford that. thoughtfulness is authentic personal awareness, kindness, and gentle justice. i often observe adults that i see who do not smile at a child who is smiling directly at them.

i try to give them the benefit of the doubt - maybe they are tired, busy, or going through personal tragedy. but then it stays with me like chronic disappointment. if you cannot share a smile with a child, then how absolutely sad. you have missed out on the most magnificently inspiring opportunity to change your life for the better. sharing a smile with a child transcends all. it is in your best interest to observe, love, and experience them. don't pass them by. they are brilliant teachers walking alongside you everyday.

children are authentic and living proof of pure connection. they deserve respect and we deserve to give it though our self-respect. it is incredibly important for us to allow them to teach and share by listening to them. they are incredibly vulnerable and can be greatly influenced by the projections of adults - parents, teachers, friends, relatives. you can easily kill their connection when you choose to consistently disconnect. they are sensitive and are affected by all just as you are even at times when you may feel they/you are not. they are genius and experience everything at deep levels. they may not have the ability to communicate it in complete sentences, but they know. do not dismiss them, ignore them, or belittle them. we need to savor and grow their connection by deepening ours. before using negative words with them, stop. breathe. look into their eyes and listen. you will speak with clarity, connection, and freedom. if we do not practice awareness with the children now, at a certain point, they too, like us, will lose their individuality and become a product of illusion. they deserve like us to live in their own connected reality.

children create space to learn. even when they receive non-thoughtful behavior, they still forgive, and forgive, and forgive. they possess unconditional love. do not abuse it. experience the gift of an apology. an authentic apology is a beautiful surrender and authentically expands all involved. it is respect. being an adult means you have begun to acquire the humility and grace to know that you are not always right. many times we are skewed and they are completely on target. release the ego and teach them integrity by being it. honor and nurture them by experiencing them through seeing and listening in order to deepen our own voice. they are the past, present, and future. just as self-love is global peace, appreciating the children is also global peace because they reflect our self-love. we cannot cultivate our world without giving them the help that they deserve. the next time you are at a restaurant, on an airplane, or at a movie theater and you hear the noise of a child, remember that each time you dismiss them without understanding and compassion you contribute to all that is not safe in the world. you have acted in a negative way towards yourself. experiencing them will teach you the understanding and patience you do not consistently give to yourself.

children need you to guide them instead of limiting their freedom. my son jacob used to say to me so many times, "you are not listening to me," even though I felt like I was. it took me a long time to finally realize that not only was I not listening to him, I wasn’t listening to my self. in order to really hear him i had to evolve my own individuality, my own creativity. I had to learn to listen to my own voice.

your children will not respect you unless you respect you self. they will fear you if that is how you choose to control them and will not authentically learn from you. they will not allow you to guide them, though that is what they need from you - guidance that comes from the strength and love of your consciousness. again, authentic guidance comes from clarity in your connection, from listening.

therefore, learn to listen to your self through listening to their highest self, and then they will begin to listen to your highest self. the result is the balance of listening - fair communicating. if your concept of discipline is through fear, they will certainly obey and they will begin to add to the collective fear that is in our world. they will do exactly what they are told, and they will never think for themselves.

let me add that one of the greatest pleasures of the world is creativity - the ability to express one's self. when fear is present, you eliminate pieces of truly being alive and living freely. the result is, they live with limited self-love and worth.

children arrive in purity with infinite healing power. receive it and nurture their personality, gift, and spirit. it is not necessary in guiding them to box them in to keep them happy or in order. though a certain amount of structure is important in all of our lives, it is not the essential part in their happiness. they crave (like we all do) consistent, balanced, healed, happy, creative human beings around them. remember they are not the ones with the problem. they are simply showing you a doorway into your conflict and resolution. please give them the ability to be who they naturally are and who they are meant to be. and for those of you who are not parents, give them the patience and love you deserved that perhaps you did or did not received. when we give unconditionally, it allows us to also experience what we are giving. experiencing a little more love could only be a good thing.

they need protection that is freeing and not stifling. care-taking takes away their ability to learn and grow. gentle reminders and compassion are loved and work. guide them without fear by dissipating yours. as adults we can have a greater perception of the dangers of the world, however, they do not need to have every moment reflected in that fear. nor do they need any phobias transferred on to them. so many of us walk with our spirit hidden and in constant search of finding it. their spirit is fully alive. please keep it alive by consistently healing yourself and practicing awareness. we cannot expect them to be enlightened if we are not. we cannot expect anything of them that we ourselves do not authentically practice. and then again, perhaps we deserve to release all expectation and live in simplicity by sharing our individual consciousness.

when we listen, we allow them to reinforce kindness. when we give ourselves gentle boundaries, they listen. when we smile, they teach us to play. when we play, we share and illuminate perfection. children inspire us to be human. and being human is the ultimate gift.

they are grace untapped - gentle winds, sunshine, gorgeous remembrance of all we were and all we will be. watch them and see yourself reflected in your highest light.